Loss

His ashen face concealed the usual joyful expression.

All lines, tubes, and monitors removed,

He now lay unresponsive,

Warmed only by the tears and soft whispers of his wife’s last embrace.

What could I say as I sat and held her hand in the night hours

Waiting for her family to arrive?

What could I do but silently look from her to him?

I prayed for wisdom and strength

Only to feel helpless and alone.

“He loves me so much,”

She confessed with confidence. His love comforted her.

But then she painfully recalled,

“We do everything together.

We go for walks, we shop, we do everything—together!”

Their love was once forbidden by difference,

Yet he faithfully returned for her after the war.

Bravely, she left her wealthy Vietnamese family

And built her own beautiful family.

One last breath,

One last movement,

Valiant efforts ensued to no avail.

A beautiful family forever changed.

I helplessly stood by

Watching him fight back with faint signs of life.

Then death finally won.

I failed.

The burnout was complete.

I am spent.

I pray for strength.

Christ meets me in communion and gently whispers,

“It’s OK. Everything is going to be all right.”

A shepherd places his hand gently on my shoulder

And I struggle to die to self to serve another day.